Well, I started to think, I know I cannot do everything, but I sure make myself feel like I need to. Why is this? Why can't I just be happy doing the best I can? I know I am doing the things that I know matter most, right?
That's when it hit me. Have I ever really fleshed out what my personal priorities are? I know in general what is good from parents and church, but what do I really believe? If I know this, I know by what standard to judge my efforts and will most likely be more satisfied with my efforts.
So I sat down and figured out, in general, what value I place on various aspects of my life (e.g. family relationships, school, personal development, etc) and in what order I would rank these categories. It's still a work in progress, but it was interesting to set up. How liberating to put down on paper what is important to me so that I do not feel guilty when judging my own actions by external criteria. I can be okay with not getting to the laundry or even doing some reading if I indeed was using my time according to my personal value system.
This is not to say that standards set by family rules or religion are unnecessary; quite to the contrary, they provide us with truth and principles of happiness to gain testimony of for ourselves (this takes effort, struggling, honesty, and heartfelt prayer--but if we seek, we will find what is true and real for ourselves). I feel it is important for each person to live according to his or her own conscience, holding ourselves accountable internally so that we can then be truly accountable to others.
Now, this may make sense only in my head. But I felt the urge to jot it down, maybe just so I can stumble on it later.
I've learned that as we align our priorities with the gospel's then that's when we become truly happy. Sometimes something might be higher on our personal value spectrum but not on God's. So luckily we have personal revelation to figure that out.
ReplyDeleteIt might be hard to give up something that seems more important to ourselves for God's will, but that is what will essentially make us happy in the end. God's timing is so different from ours and he is the only one that understands that and can lead us to true happiness even though it may conflict with personal and internal priorities.
For example, It is a huge priority for me to continue growing outside the home and to contribute to the world, and I've been struggling with returning to work or not. I know that work will make me happy.
However, God's priority for me is to be at home raising my children. If he tells me that, even if it conflicts with my personal priorities, I know that in the end following Him will bring me the upmost happiness and I have more peace. I may still long to fulfill that priority but because I know what I'm doing is right, my internal battle subsides.
When our personal values and priorities are aligned with the gospel we will be most content, because after all, the gospel is the ultimate plan of happiness!
Sorry I know this may be a sermon but your post really had me thinking and I wanted to share my thoughts with you :)
Yes! Kari I love what you said. I guess what I was thinking (but not saying) behind this was basically what you just said so well :) I feel like when we are most true to ourselves our priorities will naturally align with God's, even if some specific desires have to be set aside for a bit. But that doesn't mean it's always easy to accept for sure.... :) I just have been thinking lately of how much it matters that we make his will truly our own so that our actions are authentic and we can withstand trying times. So I think basically our thoughts are along the same lines, mine are just convoluted :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for responding Kari, I really admire your perspective.
I always enjoy reading your perspective on your blog. It always has me thinking more deeply and this one really had me going :)
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to be able to talk about stuff like this with someone. Something I've missed doing with you. Sorry I've been so caught up in my little ones, we've lost touch a bit, but I'm glad we have things like so we still have a base to come back too :)